"One step at a time feels too slow," Because he feels like since he got here the problem has escalated despite trying to be mindful of it. Perhaps its the freedom, the separation from home that is making it so much easier to let go and give into things he probably shouldn't, but regardless there is an urgency that he feels isn't being acknowledged.

And maybe that's because there is Alexei, and all the stress he's put him through lately, that he feels like any more is too much, but he has no idea what to do with that, or how to say that without sounding too dramatic.