Well that certainly makes sense. "When we started having problems recently, I think it's fair to say that's why it started...I spent months trying to figure out how to have a conversation with him, so maybe he wouldn't be so upset with me, but I'd spent so much time thinking about it that when I got to it I forgot important details and questions. Like the conversations I had with myself had actually happened with him instead." It truly was a disaster.

"I used to be in control, was confident in how things were supposed to work, but that changed so suddenly, I haven't really been the same since. But Alexei was still there. I...think if he wasn't, none of what happened to me, to us? I couldn't say 'at least it gave me you' and that would be too much..."