Sheehan doesn't argue the first point. Clearly they have an effect on him, and that's the important takeaway here.
"Challenging means that you are going to examine them and ask if they're actually true or not. So let's start with the first one."
And he deliberately says it aloud as he writes it on a new sheet of paper. "'I think I am defective. Broken.'"
He hands that back to Archer.
"Now you can write the answers down. First thing I want you to do is write down all of the emotions that you feel when you think about that statement."
Archer just…stares at the paper for a moment. And he tries - honestly tries - to think of how to answer that question.
He’s managed to field Sheehan’s queries thus far, but now, it’s very obvious that he’s hitting a wall.
“…there’s nothing to write down. It’s a statement. And I’ve known it since I was small even though I didn’t have the words for it. If there wasn’t something broken or wrong, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you.”
“I feel annoyed because you keep asking me about my emotions, and sometimes - as I said - I simply do not have an answer. I don’t even think I knew how to feel happy before coming to the Barge. And if I did know at one point, by the time I came here, I’d forgotten how.”
"Good," he says with an easy smile. "I know that's hard to admit, Archer. I really do. But annoyance is an emotion and that's good enough for today. Ready to take a break for today? I have homework for you before our next session."
"I'd like for you to be more mindful of your feelings. And when you get a thought like that, I want you to do like you did today, but in a place where I'm not pressuring you. Write down your feelings when you think that statement."
Sheehan nods. "I know. I don't get offended that easily. But the very fact that this is a difficult exercise for you means that we are on the right track. Healing doesn't feel good all of the time."
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Because he represses the hell out of this shit most of the time. If he doesn’t think about it, it’s not a problem!!
“What does ‘challenging’ them entail?”
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"Challenging means that you are going to examine them and ask if they're actually true or not. So let's start with the first one."
And he deliberately says it aloud as he writes it on a new sheet of paper. "'I think I am defective. Broken.'"
He hands that back to Archer.
"Now you can write the answers down. First thing I want you to do is write down all of the emotions that you feel when you think about that statement."
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He’s managed to field Sheehan’s queries thus far, but now, it’s very obvious that he’s hitting a wall.
“…there’s nothing to write down. It’s a statement. And I’ve known it since I was small even though I didn’t have the words for it. If there wasn’t something broken or wrong, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you.”
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Clearly frustrated, he shakes his head.
“I can’t write something that isn’t there.”
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Because there's clearly something there. Some reaction.
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“I feel annoyed because you keep asking me about my emotions, and sometimes - as I said - I simply do not have an answer. I don’t even think I knew how to feel happy before coming to the Barge. And if I did know at one point, by the time I came here, I’d forgotten how.”
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“What kind of ‘homework’?”
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He tilts his head. "Just once."
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“…very well. I assume you want me to bring it next time?”
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And feelings in general. He feels like he’s going to get hives from talking so much about emotions.
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He tilts his head. "What did you expect when you came here?"
He's not accusing at all, merely curious.
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“I knew there would be some of it. But I did not know it would be all of it.”
That said-
“I am not criticizing it. I am just trying to understand it.”
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“Knowing what you know…you think I can change? Improve?”
Because even though he is commuting to Trying, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have Doubts.