He looks up. "I know that's what you think, Nana, but it's about the harm caused. And in my case, it didn't work. Andrew - he regressed. Or he - chose to. And I let him make that choice. I had to."
"You didn't have to," Nana says, with a shake of her head. "You chose to. You could always try again. You don't...you don't give up on the people you're trying to protect like that."
"If one of the choices hurts him like that, then it's a terrible choice," Nana says, without any hesitation. "You're a psychiatrist. You're supposed to protect your patients."
"I didn't know which choice hurt him more," he says. "And isn't that what you did for Niji?" You wanted to save her, to make choices for her, but you had to weigh those options. Are you a terrible person for taking her out? Of course not. You're kind and compassionate. But you were showing her love when you put her back. Even if that was hard for you."
"There's got to be a better way. I just...I want to protect my friends from all the hurt in the world. I know you do also. So to hear you say that the better way still made him suffer...I know this sounds stupid, but it shouldn't be that way."
"Seeing people get hurt, people you care about, is hard, Nana. But it's part of life. It's the way that things have to be. There has to be balance in the world, or life is not worth living," he explains softly.
Sheehan nods. "I think that's a good place to start. What would you want, if you win? Something that helps your friends - actually helps them - if that's what you want?"
"I'm not gonna ask for an even better Starlight. Nothing will top that play in our first year for me. But that's...okay, I guess." She says the words hesitantly, as she herself isn't entirely sure that's okay.
"But I've always wanted to help my friends. This won't change now."
Sheehan's smile is warm. "No, nothing will top that play. And nothing may feel the same. But you can have different experiences. Good experiences that may move you. You and your friends."
He spreads out his hands. "You came to ask me about my life. If there's not, then no. You can enjoy the tea. I can put on some music." He stands up. "Oh! Have you heard of the Beatles?"
"Pop idols," he repeats, though there's less of a question and more just teasing resignation. "Well, I can see the appeal. There's a lot of flashing lights and bright colors."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
no subject
He sips at his tea, then takes the teabag out and adds sugar. "I didn't give up on him. I did what I could to help him, then I did something else."
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
"I'm not gonna quit the revue back home. I don't know if I can. But I also don't know what I'd ask for if I won."
no subject
no subject
"I'm not gonna ask for an even better Starlight. Nothing will top that play in our first year for me. But that's...okay, I guess." She says the words hesitantly, as she herself isn't entirely sure that's okay.
"But I've always wanted to help my friends. This won't change now."
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
"Um. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
no subject
no subject
Sorry, Sheehan.
no subject
no subject
She shrugs slightly before, "I can pull up one of them on my phone if you want to listen."
no subject
no subject
And she adjusts her position so that Sheehan can watch the music video. Welcome to j-idol groups, there are literally like sixteen of them on stage.
no subject
And he watches.
And watches.
Maybe it will make sense in a few seconds, he keeps telling himself, but there's no way to keep up with anything that's happening!
"Ah," he says with a nod. "I - hm."
no subject
and ah. Grandpa doesn't really like this sort of music, does he.
"I can find something different for us to listen to next."
no subject
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)