"I'm getting there," he smiles, not at all put off by it. He's glad that Abel at least seems interested in it. Sheehan doesn't have to sell it so hard.
"This first one is when you feel yourself spiraling into anxiety or overthinking. I want you to focus on a random part of your body. Your big toe on your left foot. How's it doing? What's it doing? Is it comfortable? Does it feel scrunched up against your sock?"
Abel tries very hard to not scrunch up his nose as Sheehan walks him through the exercise. He isn't sure about this, but he'll bite.
"D-do you want me to tell you? Or am I doing it in my head?" He feels a little silly already, so he hopes it's the second, but can be talked into doing the first.
He sees that look and smiles. "I can walk you through it this time, but you have to slow down your thoughts to match my words. Sometimes that's easier to do when you say it aloud."
"That's what we're trying to work on," he reminds Abel. Making things easier like this.
"Alright. Let's start low and work our way up. Close your eyes and focus everything you have on your feet. Your right foot. Your right toe. What does it feel like right now?"
He does so, pressing his little toe to the floor. At first it's light, but if he presses harder it engages more of his foot, he can feel it in his calf.
"Pressure. And connection. I couldn't tell you which muscles specifically I'm engaging but there are more of them involved than one would think for something so simple."
His eyebrows scrunch together as he fights back some frustration. "It's just there. I feel my foot more as a whole than my ankle. It loose, and flexible." Structurally he appreciates it, the weight it can hold while also being able to pivot so many different weighs, but the feel of it isn't so impressive.
He's been sitting rather oddly, but once it's pointed out he tries to uncurl himself from his rather defensive position, stretching his legs out in front of him.
"It isn't uncomfortable...I tend to do a lot of stretching, so it's fine." At the very least he isn't fidgeting. It seems the sit still part of the exercise doesn't both himself in the least, but his tone is slowly edging towards frustration.
Sheehan laughs. "Alright, I'll spare you the rest. I think you get the idea of it, but it is easier to do on your own, even if you feel ridiculous. But - what weren't you thinking about?"
He isn't sure he liked it, seeing as it made him feel frustrated and silly, but he can admit at least one thing, "I...wasn't thinking about sex, or my personal failings." He was just angry that he had to think about his god damn toe for a few minutes.
"Am I able to swap the subject matter out? Like, if I was holding my cat for example, I- It feels weird being so thoughtful about my own body, at least that specifically. I try to be mindful of it when I'm working out, but it definitely isn't anything like that."
"That's actually the next exercise I was going to suggest. Focus outwardly,
but it needs to be something you can do anywhere. Instead of your body,
focus on your senses. Five things you can see in whatever space you're in.
Five things you can touch around you, cat inlcuded. Five things you can
taste - or recall tasting, since that's a hard one. Five things you can
smell."
Abel tries his best not to make a face, or at least show even more his distaste for the suggestion, but that doesn't mean he won't try it next time he's able. "That seems simple enough. We...probably don't need to go over that one so thoroughly."
"No, we don't. But I want you to try it, Abel. Try it once, when you're starting to feel your mind want to go somewhere else. And then come see me again. If it doesn't work, then we can do other things, too. But this is something you can do anywhere," he explains.
He nods, even if he is doubtful it will work. "Alright. I will. Is-" a breath, trying to fix his tone and not sound quite so frustrated, "was that it then? My homework until next time."
"I don't know...I guess I just am impatient to fix myself. There's a lot of sitting and waiting on myself to get with the program that I wish didn't exist..." working on yourself isn't like learning a new skill from a text book and that sucks, truly.
"If you gave me a twelve step program all at once instead of tackling each little thing at a time...but I don't think it really works like that, does it?"
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Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"This first one is when you feel yourself spiraling into anxiety or overthinking. I want you to focus on a random part of your body. Your big toe on your left foot. How's it doing? What's it doing? Is it comfortable? Does it feel scrunched up against your sock?"
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"D-do you want me to tell you? Or am I doing it in my head?" He feels a little silly already, so he hopes it's the second, but can be talked into doing the first.
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"I...guess go ahead, I'll repeat after you?"
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"Alright. Let's start low and work our way up. Close your eyes and focus everything you have on your feet. Your right foot. Your right toe. What does it feel like right now?"
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"It's just there...if I focus on it too much I feel the urge to press it down into the floor to make this less boring, more engaging."
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"Pressure. And connection. I couldn't tell you which muscles specifically I'm engaging but there are more of them involved than one would think for something so simple."
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
He isn't sure what else to say about it.
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
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Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"It isn't uncomfortable...I tend to do a lot of stretching, so it's fine." At the very least he isn't fidgeting. It seems the sit still part of the exercise doesn't both himself in the least, but his tone is slowly edging towards frustration.
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"Am I able to swap the subject matter out? Like, if I was holding my cat for example, I- It feels weird being so thoughtful about my own body, at least that specifically. I try to be mindful of it when I'm working out, but it definitely isn't anything like that."
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"That's actually the next exercise I was going to suggest. Focus outwardly, but it needs to be something you can do anywhere. Instead of your body, focus on your senses. Five things you can see in whatever space you're in. Five things you can touch around you, cat inlcuded. Five things you can taste - or recall tasting, since that's a hard one. Five things you can smell."
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
"If you gave me a twelve step program all at once instead of tackling each little thing at a time...but I don't think it really works like that, does it?"
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th
Re: Audio - forward dated to the 15th