Abel pauses a moment, he'd been thinking about it all day once Alexei had compared what he'd been doing to how he'd only ever argued when he was a child with his sister. The implied 'I grew out of it, why didn't you' felt a little pointed, made him desperate to want to explain but then, wouldn't that just be more excuses?
"If I keep a balance, it let's me know where I stand with someone...what I should expect when I speak with them next, the reasonable reaction." Or perhaps not so reasonable but justified given the accomplishments and failures all tallied up in his mind.
"I can't be disappointed if I've already set my expectations and it hurts less." But as far as what happens...
"Usually a lot of yelling, reminders of expectations not being met. Disappointment, disgust, taking privileges away... when it was too off balance it would be eerily quiet, or I would be ignored, not worth the effort until I caught up." He can't say all of that he saw in Alexei, but some of it he did or expected him to and got confused when he didn't.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-03-06 02:45 pm (UTC)"If I keep a balance, it let's me know where I stand with someone...what I should expect when I speak with them next, the reasonable reaction." Or perhaps not so reasonable but justified given the accomplishments and failures all tallied up in his mind.
"I can't be disappointed if I've already set my expectations and it hurts less." But as far as what happens...
"Usually a lot of yelling, reminders of expectations not being met. Disappointment, disgust, taking privileges away... when it was too off balance it would be eerily quiet, or I would be ignored, not worth the effort until I caught up." He can't say all of that he saw in Alexei, but some of it he did or expected him to and got confused when he didn't.