Abel stares at his hands, quietly rubbing his fingers against his palms as he thinks about that a minute.
It's the truth, and yet it never feels like that's all it is. "I... I feel like, if I don't approach every problem the same way, something terrible is going to happen, and it's going to be my fault. A-and maybe it's because I was there and then I was here suddenly, and some day I'll be going back..."
He glances up at Sheehan, pushing forward despite how stupid he feels his own behavior is. "If I relax too much I won't be prepared for when I leave. N-never mind that it might be years, I can't- even before I enlisted, arguments felt like war and now that it's changing, if I change too-"
Its the same. All of it's the same no matter how much it changes, but if he changes, it might hurt when it inevitably shifts back, when he has to face the war again. "It's going to hurt too much if I just let go of this."
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Audio
Date: 2025-03-13 11:36 pm (UTC)It's the truth, and yet it never feels like that's all it is. "I... I feel like, if I don't approach every problem the same way, something terrible is going to happen, and it's going to be my fault. A-and maybe it's because I was there and then I was here suddenly, and some day I'll be going back..."
He glances up at Sheehan, pushing forward despite how stupid he feels his own behavior is. "If I relax too much I won't be prepared for when I leave. N-never mind that it might be years, I can't- even before I enlisted, arguments felt like war and now that it's changing, if I change too-"
Its the same. All of it's the same no matter how much it changes, but if he changes, it might hurt when it inevitably shifts back, when he has to face the war again. "It's going to hurt too much if I just let go of this."