heyboss | IC Inbox

I know you think that.

I know they made you think that.

But you were not given a choice. Not really.

You might have known what you were doing, but would you have chosen the same way if the other choice was freedom?

[Pardon him for about five minutes while he has a brief anxiety spiral.]

If I didn't have to do any of it and they'd just let me go?

No, of course not. I wouldn't have done any of it.

Then it's not a choice. It wasn't something you wanted to do on your own.

It's a forced choice, which is what people use when they want someone to do something and make it seem like it was their idea.

I still didn't have to do it like I did.

I could have been nicer to him.

You've seen that scar on his lip, right? I did that. I did it to make sure everyone knew which navigator was mine.

I'm not clearing you, Cain. You did things you shouldn't. You did things you aren't proud of.

But it's exhausting to carry guilt you didn't earn.

How did I NOT earn this.

Maybe it wasn't all me. But saying I was put in a shitty position doesn't absolve me of responsibility for my actions.

I didn't even always feel bad about it. How fucked up is that.

Your mind adapted to what it needed to.

It makes sense.

How can you be so fucking nice about this?

You are not the monster you think you are, Cain.

I don't think I'm a monster!

I don't.
I'm not.

I'm just too good at pretending to be one.

You're not.

I am sorry that you were made to act like one.

Thanks.

I think.
I don't know where to go with this now.

It would be easier if you were pissed at me.

I know.

But there's nothing you need to do.

Do you still want to apologize?

To Abel?

Yeah. I have to.
He deserves it.

Then start there.

And don't worry about me.

Missed the boat on that, honestly.

Yeah, I figured.

When are you going to talk to him about it?

It might help to give yourself a timeline.

Haven't thought that far ahead yet.

Alright.

Now would be the moment to think.

I asked you for advice, not to patronise me.

I didn't mean for that to be patronizing. I'm sorry. I just wondered if you think you might want to determine the right time for it.

This was hard enough to come to as it was.

And Abel's still struggling with some shit after the Narrenschiff. I don't want to spring this on him without thinking it through.

I understand.

If you ned to talk it out again, you know where to find me?

I'm honored that you trusted me with this, Cain. I really am.

Yeah, well.

I figured you wouldn't try to turn it against me.
And you're all right. For a shrink.

That's a pretty high compliment.

Thank you.

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reargunner - 2024-11-22 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

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heyboss - 2024-11-22 18:38 (UTC) - Expand