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[heyboss]

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[reargunner]

[He scrunches his face up slightly like he's annoyed, then sighs unsteadily and lets his hand drop out of his hair. Alexei pushes his back straight and leans into the railing behind him, resting his head against it with his eyes shut while he just... tries to pull himself together.

It takes a while. Probably not as long as it feels like it does before his ears stop ringing and his shoulders simply ache slightly from the tense way he was holding himself. He lets one leg slide flat, missing Sheehan by inches with the sole of his boot, then opens his eyes on an exhale.

He looks tired.]

[heyboss]

[Sheehan waits and he sits there, giving him modeling and guidance.]

Good. Good. Are you ready to talk about what happened or do you want to sit here a while longer?

[reargunner]

[Alexei inhales, holds it for a few moments, then lets it out.]

Nothing happened.

[He sounds as exhausted as he looks.]

Nothing—... nothing happened. I was having a smoke.

[heyboss]

Okay. What were you thinking about?

[He isn't going to push much, not when things are raw, but he's worried about the trigger.]

[reargunner]

It...

[He's about to say 'nothing', feeling a little irritable about having to think about it, but he bumps the back of his head against the railing and thinks back to where his mind had been at the time his chest had started to seize up.

He remembers what he was thinking about. Shakes his head.]

Nothing that should have... made that happen. Nothing bad.

[heyboss]

Alright.

[He doesn't press too hard now.]

You said it's never been this bad before. Does this happen a lot?

[reargunner]

[Sigh...]

Depends what you mean by 'a lot'.

[Yes, he knows he's being evasive. He rubs his face then pats at his jacket pocket for a cigarette.]

It happens sometimes. It's... [A frown.] I can normally throw it off. Or it just... lasts for a minute.

[heyboss]

What seems to trigger it?

[He takes out a cigarette and hands it over to him. He knows that pat-and-search maneuver.]

[reargunner]

[Blink. Oh. Cigarette.

He takes it.]

Thanks.

[And then, once it's lit and he's taken the first drag.]

Last time, it was... [Hm, how to say...] I was talking about some things back home. [He frowns.]

Sometimes I don't... realise something is bothering me until my ears start pounding.

[heyboss]

Okay.

You must be exhausted. Those attacks can be debilitating.

[reargunner]

[Alexei lets out a dry, shaky laugh.]

I just spent twenty minutes thinking I was gonna die. Yeah, I'd say 'exhausted' is a fucking word for it.

[heyboss]

[Sheehan smiles a little.]

Come on. Let's go back to my cabin. Arthur's up, I'm sure, so we can have some tea and you don't have to sit here on deck.

[reargunner]

[He goes a little still for a moment.]

... You sure that's a good idea?

[heyboss]

Of course.

[He stands up and holds down a hand to him.]

I reckon you need a little safe place right now.

[reargunner]

[Again, he makes a face. The expression is one of distinct unease this time as he subs his cigarette out against the deck and takes the offered hand. He does use the railing behind him as an additional aid to get up, reasoning that Sheehan probably can't take his full weight if he pulls on him.]

I've never spoken to Arthur. You know that, right.

[heyboss]

Huh, well, you don't need to meet him now. I just meant that he's awake, so we won't be waking him up if we sit in the front room and drink tea.

[He shoves his hands in his pockets once Alexei is standing.]

[reargunner]

[He thinks about it for a minute, knowing that the other man isn't going to rush him over it. Right now, going back to his own cabin with the lingering concern that it's going to happen again is a very real worry. Going to Ethan doesn't seem right when he's still in a state and the other man will probably get upset or overly fretful and might just... set him off again.

Alexei rubs a hand over his face and groans lightly against his palm before his arm drops.]

Okay.

[heyboss]

Okay. Come on. Let's get you somewhere warm.

[He gestures for him to follow, through the door to the interior of the ship and towards the elevator.]

[reargunner]

Mmn.

[Walking feels... weird. Like he's off-balance. He uses the wall to keep himself steady as soon as he can reliably touch one, brushing his hand against it while he walks along.]

Did Arthur know where you'd gone?

[heyboss]

I told him that you needed my help but it wasn't - dangerous.

[He hangs back with him, making sure that he can walk and offering an arm if he needs it.]

[reargunner]

[A huff. He supposes that's fine. Though he doesn't take the offered arm he does lightly pat it by way of reassurance.]

'M okay. Just feeling a bit spaced out.

[heyboss]

I know. I don't want you to fall. We'll take the elevator, I think.

[He pushes the button for them.]

Arthur can be a little - protective of me sometimes.

[reargunner]

Yeah. [He leans one shoulder against the wall beside the elevator, nodding slightly and trying his very best to look like there's nothing wrong with him to any other casual passerby.]

I... get that. More than you might know. [A small half-smile.] But if you love him like I do Abel, I bet he drives you up the wall sometimes too.

[heyboss]

[The doors open and he holds the sides so Alexei can go first.]

I do love him. But I don't think I get frustrated with him. It takes a lot for a person to frustrate me.

[reargunner]

[He slips in through the doors, leaning against the wall and puffing out a sigh.]

Pity... Makes things more fun sometimes. Not always, though.