[Sheehan takes off his shoes when he walks in and closes the door behind him. He's glad, as he always is, to see Arthur, and reaches over to squeeze his hand briefly in a show of appreciation.]
[Though entirely unintended, there's the immediate sense of having intruded. It's late, this is somebody's home, and--
He looks over his shoulder quickly when he hears the door click shut.
Arthur gets a quick scan. An up-down shift of his eyes as he takes in details. He doesn't venture to step away from his position near the door.]
No, thanks. [His native Russian accent bleeds lightly into his words. He takes a breath that's an obvious effort to steady himself.] This might just be a bad idea.
[Sheehan gets a warm squeeze back, but Alexei's obvious discomfort makes Arthur slip his fingers free again. He can see how their guests looks halfway to bolting, and he'd rather not undo all of Sheehan's hard work in getting him to this point.]
Nonsense. [There's bite to the English accent, but it's playful, almost teasing.] You woke us up, your prize is being bothered by us whether you like it or not now. So you can take your drink and some leftovers if you're hungry, and you can hide in the spare bedroom until you're done being embarrassed.
[With a gesture to the hall across the room and a wry little grin.]
[He feels himself bristle, an irritated flush lightly colouring across the tops of his cheeks, and he drops his head slightly to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.]
Why does this feel like I'm not gonna be given a fucking choice in the matter whether I want to be here or not.
[Something about that - what Arthur says, what Sheehan says - seems to flick a switch. Alexei makes a face, dropping his hand a couple of inches and looking from one to the other before following the track of his gaze with pointing a finger at each man one after the other.]
You two, [He says, sounding faintly exasperated.] Need to pick a fucking lane and stick to it.
[There's some light Russian expletives muttered under his breath as he finally breaks from his ready-to-bolt position and takes a spot on the couch.]
It's been two minutes talking to both of you and I already feel like I'm herding fucking cats.
[The kettle's still hot, so he makes a quick and easy black tea to bring back out to Alexei, leaving it on the small coffee table in front of the couch so he can take his own chamomile tea.]
Besides. If you're so busy trying to work out why we're being so welcoming, you're not having a panic attack, are you?
[Trust Arthur to work out what happened. Sheehan hadn't known what was going on, only that it was an emergency, but it's not that difficult to parse. He chuckles.]
I'm a psychiatrist. He's a detective. There are very different approaches to a situation.
[He's about to reach out for the tea but freezes when Arthur hits the proverbial nail on the head so accurately, slowly withdrawing his hand without picking it up. The tension that had started to seep out of him snaps back in full force.
Ah. Nope. Don't like that.]
Yeah. [Alexei leans against the arm of the couch, propping his head on his hand.]
[His eyes flicks up when he senses the tension abruptly ramp up again, and then he keeps his gaze down at his mug.]
You're certainly not the first person to have one. Not even the first in this room. There's nothing wrong with- with getting overwhelmed. It's perfectly human.
[Softly. He's very fond of John and since he's not trying to hide that fact, it's written all over his face. He finally picks up the tea and settles into the corner of the couch with it, taking a sip.
Evidently plain black tea is perfectly fine with him.]
... It's gonna happen again, isn't it. [If it was just the one panic attack he might not think so, but this is an escalation over months. He keeps his eyes on his drink as he speaks, not really wanting to meet either of their eyes.] Am I just fucking stuck with that happening to me now?
[Arthur's gaze flicks over Alexei's head, to give Sheehan a warm look.]
In my personal experience with them, it became a matter of... learning what it was that was setting me off. It wasn't foolproof, of course, sometimes I still... fall into old habits. I let my emotions get the better of me. But knowing where those emotions are coming from makes a real difference.
As utterly horrific as the idea feels, sometimes you do have to sit with yourself for a while to actually study your thoughts and emotions. Not everyone's so lucky as to have partners to point it out for them.
But you do have friends who can help. [He is glad to be one of them.] And in the meantime, there are ways, like I said, to work through it while it happens.
[He's quiet for a bit after that. Sipping at his tea, thinking, mulling over what he wants to say and how much he wants to say. Sheehan is a friend that he trusts. Arthur is... new, but seems to get it.
Alexei pushes a soft breath out through his nose.]
[That makes Arthur looks back at Alexei again, tilting his head slightly.]
I've been an inmate myself. I know how suffocating this place can feel when you don't have an out like wardens do, or when wardens act... out of turn. Out of line. But none of it will ever feel within your control if you just sit on it assuming no-one else sees the cracks.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-03-14 10:37 pm (UTC)Whatever you want.
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Date: 2025-03-14 11:16 pm (UTC)He looks over his shoulder quickly when he hears the door click shut.
Arthur gets a quick scan. An up-down shift of his eyes as he takes in details. He doesn't venture to step away from his position near the door.]
No, thanks. [His native Russian accent bleeds lightly into his words. He takes a breath that's an obvious effort to steady himself.] This might just be a bad idea.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-14 11:27 pm (UTC)Nonsense. [There's bite to the English accent, but it's playful, almost teasing.] You woke us up, your prize is being bothered by us whether you like it or not now. So you can take your drink and some leftovers if you're hungry, and you can hide in the spare bedroom until you're done being embarrassed.
[With a gesture to the hall across the room and a wry little grin.]
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Date: 2025-03-14 11:30 pm (UTC)You don't need to be social. You're not an intrusion. I would not have invited you here otherwise.
But it would make me feel better if you stayed.
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Date: 2025-03-14 11:37 pm (UTC)Why does this feel like I'm not gonna be given a fucking choice in the matter whether I want to be here or not.
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Date: 2025-03-14 11:42 pm (UTC)[But that grin is still cheeky, rather than smug, and he steps back to move to the kitchen.]
I'll get you some tea. Christ knows you don't need coffee right now.
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Date: 2025-03-14 11:50 pm (UTC)[He steps back, giving him all the space he wants.]
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Date: 2025-03-15 12:24 am (UTC)You two, [He says, sounding faintly exasperated.] Need to pick a fucking lane and stick to it.
[There's some light Russian expletives muttered under his breath as he finally breaks from his ready-to-bolt position and takes a spot on the couch.]
It's been two minutes talking to both of you and I already feel like I'm herding fucking cats.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-15 12:32 am (UTC)[The kettle's still hot, so he makes a quick and easy black tea to bring back out to Alexei, leaving it on the small coffee table in front of the couch so he can take his own chamomile tea.]
Besides. If you're so busy trying to work out why we're being so welcoming, you're not having a panic attack, are you?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-15 12:34 am (UTC)I'm a psychiatrist. He's a detective. There are very different approaches to a situation.
It's how we keep the days interesting.
[He sits at the table and picks up a cup.]
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Date: 2025-03-15 12:38 am (UTC)Ah. Nope. Don't like that.]
Yeah. [Alexei leans against the arm of the couch, propping his head on his hand.]
Guess it'd do that.
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Date: 2025-03-15 12:51 am (UTC)You're certainly not the first person to have one. Not even the first in this room. There's nothing wrong with- with getting overwhelmed. It's perfectly human.
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Date: 2025-03-15 01:05 am (UTC)Especially here when shit always happens.
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Date: 2025-03-15 01:08 am (UTC)John's talked about you.
[Sheehan not so much, but the topic just never came up.]
We're friends. He's like family.
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Date: 2025-03-15 01:20 am (UTC)He tends to do that. Along with his habit of turning people into family here. I'm glad to see it being appreciated.
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Date: 2025-03-15 02:09 am (UTC)[Sheehan smiles into his cup as he sips it.]
John tends to hold on tightly to people.
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Date: 2025-03-15 02:15 am (UTC)[Softly. He's very fond of John and since he's not trying to hide that fact, it's written all over his face. He finally picks up the tea and settles into the corner of the couch with it, taking a sip.
Evidently plain black tea is perfectly fine with him.]
... It's gonna happen again, isn't it. [If it was just the one panic attack he might not think so, but this is an escalation over months. He keeps his eyes on his drink as he speaks, not really wanting to meet either of their eyes.] Am I just fucking stuck with that happening to me now?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-15 02:26 am (UTC)In my personal experience with them, it became a matter of... learning what it was that was setting me off. It wasn't foolproof, of course, sometimes I still... fall into old habits. I let my emotions get the better of me. But knowing where those emotions are coming from makes a real difference.
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Date: 2025-03-15 02:30 am (UTC)[He returns that look fondly and then glances away.]
But when you're in them, there are things that you can do to mitigate how intense they are.
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Date: 2025-03-15 02:50 am (UTC)And if I don't know what set it off? What then.
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Date: 2025-03-15 03:00 am (UTC)[Detective jokes.]
As utterly horrific as the idea feels, sometimes you do have to sit with yourself for a while to actually study your thoughts and emotions. Not everyone's so lucky as to have partners to point it out for them.
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Date: 2025-03-15 08:54 am (UTC)And - you can always call me again.
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Date: 2025-03-15 06:34 pm (UTC)Alexei pushes a soft breath out through his nose.]
And what happens if being here is the problem.
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Date: 2025-03-16 10:35 pm (UTC)I've been an inmate myself. I know how suffocating this place can feel when you don't have an out like wardens do, or when wardens act... out of turn. Out of line. But none of it will ever feel within your control if you just sit on it assuming no-one else sees the cracks.
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Date: 2025-03-16 10:49 pm (UTC)He just sips his tea, grateful for Arthur.]
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