You care about me because you're my warden. I'm not an idiot, Dr. Sheehan. I know we'd never be friends if we weren't paired. You'd barely talk to me. The only reason you do, the only reason you say you care about me is cause we're paired.
If you really wanted to help, you wouldn't say useless stuff like 'I don't have a deal.' You could use a deal to donate money to an orphanage. Or end a disease. Or help rebuild after a natural disaster. You know. Stuff that actually helps.
I don't think you want to help. I think you just want to see immediate results.
There are plenty of ways you can actually help that aren't the Barge. But none of them give that immediate satisfaction of a person being alive again or a plate of cookies from the Admiral.
[ Nana gives Sheehan a bright smile and a nod, though her cheerful Banana exterior isn't making it's way to her eyes. She's going through the motions, smiling and grinning, but she's so done and it's so apparent. ]
"You already told me a bit about yourself," Nana points out. "About that perfect stage you crafted, where you let the patient live out the delusions of his story. Do you do that for all your patients?"
"No," he tells her. "No, Andrew was a special case. He was - violent. He hurt guards, other patients, and even me a few times. He refused to believe the truth of what he had done. They were going to lobotomize him. Against our wishes."
He looks down into his tea. "It was a last ditch effort."
Nana pauses for a moment, taking a sip of her tea, before continuing.
"My Starlight was a special case as well. We're the same in that way. We'd both do anything to try and help the people we care about. So really, there's no reason why you're a warden and I'm not."
He looks up. "I know that's what you think, Nana, but it's about the harm caused. And in my case, it didn't work. Andrew - he regressed. Or he - chose to. And I let him make that choice. I had to."
"You didn't have to," Nana says, with a shake of her head. "You chose to. You could always try again. You don't...you don't give up on the people you're trying to protect like that."
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[But this isn't their first meeting. This isn't the way that he wants their interactions to go.]
I think that you might be covering some emotions.
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You don't want to know what I'm covering. Even if you're my warden. You're not gonna like it.
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And you don't know if we'd talk or not. We talked before.
You know I don't have a deal, right? That I'm here because I want to be. Because I - want to help you.
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I don't think you want to help. I think you just want to see immediate results.
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Why don't you have a psychiatric practice?
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I tried. It didn't go well. I still see people, though.
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And Andrew's, too.
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[ And five minutes later, there's a knock on Sheehan's door. ]
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Go on and sit. I've got the water boiling.
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Do you need any help with the tea?
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He holds them out to her along with a few boxes of tea.
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"What would you like to know? From the beginning, or just about my practice?"
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He looks down into his tea. "It was a last ditch effort."
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Nana pauses for a moment, taking a sip of her tea, before continuing.
"My Starlight was a special case as well. We're the same in that way. We'd both do anything to try and help the people we care about. So really, there's no reason why you're a warden and I'm not."
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