I probably should ask someone else, but I'd rather not be spreading this shit around more than it has to be, and I'm sure my new cat isn't going to be quiet about it...but?
[A sigh, as he tries to figure out how to phrase his question.]
Arthur was an inmate, how'd you handle that when he did stupid shit that is not above board?
That - was something I didn't have to struggle with much, fortunately.
But he got in a lot of fights.
I wasn't his warden. I was there to be his partner and his friend. I told him I was disappointed because I was afraid of him getting hurt. I was afraid for his life.
Jealous. [He's been a warden, what? less than a month and he's sure that if something else happens, Vincent won't hesitate to do something about it again if he doesn't.]
I guess I'm not trying to be the morality police, I- I don't completely disagree with Vincent, I just... [He's frustrated and what the hell is talking about feelings like this?]
It's like we're stuck in this...not quite a fight, but I don't want him to get hurt, and he doesn't want me to either, so then he does something about it and potentially opens him up to a bunch of shit that he says is fine cause he can't be physically harmed.
Neither. I think he's just tired of watching people get hurt with zero consequence, and I get it, but like... I never asked for that, and it feels to me like a warning. Not just to who hurt me, but to me.
Like If I don't fight for myself, he will. And I dunno how to feel about that.
If you dint fight for yourself in the way he deems correct, then he will do it.
He clearly cares for you. Don't forget that.
But if this isn't something you want repeated, then you need to make it clear. This isn't him getting into a fight with someone outside of you. This directly affects you.
I mean, technically I didn't. I didn't fight for myself at all, and I know it bothered him... [He played his other cards, and poured all his energy into the person who probably deserved it the least, and everyone else around him.] I...promised I would though, next time. But I don't think that was good enough, or maybe he didn't believe I actually would?
[And he knows Vincent does, he wasn't kidding when he'd admitted the gesture was sweet, that it was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him, and yet?]
That requires being firm, and I can be a firm asshole about plenty, but setting boundaries is like the furthest outside my comfort zone.
I mean, I told him to ask me next time he decided I needed something done on my behalf...
[That was the closest he'd been able to express that he actually was upset about it. Though now having gone through it, having thought about how complicated this could get, he feels that's not really enough.]
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Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[A sigh, as he tries to figure out how to phrase his question.]
Arthur was an inmate, how'd you handle that when he did stupid shit that is not above board?
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
But he got in a lot of fights.
I wasn't his warden. I was there to be his partner and his friend. I told him I was disappointed because I was afraid of him getting hurt. I was afraid for his life.
I never morality at him.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
I guess I'm not trying to be the morality police, I- I don't completely disagree with Vincent, I just... [He's frustrated and what the hell is talking about feelings like this?]
It's like we're stuck in this...not quite a fight, but I don't want him to get hurt, and he doesn't want me to either, so then he does something about it and potentially opens him up to a bunch of shit that he says is fine cause he can't be physically harmed.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[He has a hunch.]
Is that something you wanted or something he assumed you wanted?
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Like If I don't fight for myself, he will. And I dunno how to feel about that.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
He clearly cares for you. Don't forget that.
But if this isn't something you want repeated, then you need to make it clear. This isn't him getting into a fight with someone outside of you. This directly affects you.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[And he knows Vincent does, he wasn't kidding when he'd admitted the gesture was sweet, that it was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him, and yet?]
That requires being firm, and I can be a firm asshole about plenty, but setting boundaries is like the furthest outside my comfort zone.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[That was the closest he'd been able to express that he actually was upset about it. Though now having gone through it, having thought about how complicated this could get, he feels that's not really enough.]
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Part of me is weighing whether or not being disappointed in the future is better than having this conversation. [Hanna, no.]
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
I- Yes? I mean, I don't think I'd be talking to you about it if I didn't want it to. I'm kind of invested.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Then you have to be firm. Set boundaries. That's the work you do.