Neither. I think he's just tired of watching people get hurt with zero consequence, and I get it, but like... I never asked for that, and it feels to me like a warning. Not just to who hurt me, but to me.
Like If I don't fight for myself, he will. And I dunno how to feel about that.
If you dint fight for yourself in the way he deems correct, then he will do it.
He clearly cares for you. Don't forget that.
But if this isn't something you want repeated, then you need to make it clear. This isn't him getting into a fight with someone outside of you. This directly affects you.
I mean, technically I didn't. I didn't fight for myself at all, and I know it bothered him... [He played his other cards, and poured all his energy into the person who probably deserved it the least, and everyone else around him.] I...promised I would though, next time. But I don't think that was good enough, or maybe he didn't believe I actually would?
[And he knows Vincent does, he wasn't kidding when he'd admitted the gesture was sweet, that it was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him, and yet?]
That requires being firm, and I can be a firm asshole about plenty, but setting boundaries is like the furthest outside my comfort zone.
I mean, I told him to ask me next time he decided I needed something done on my behalf...
[That was the closest he'd been able to express that he actually was upset about it. Though now having gone through it, having thought about how complicated this could get, he feels that's not really enough.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Like If I don't fight for myself, he will. And I dunno how to feel about that.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
He clearly cares for you. Don't forget that.
But if this isn't something you want repeated, then you need to make it clear. This isn't him getting into a fight with someone outside of you. This directly affects you.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[And he knows Vincent does, he wasn't kidding when he'd admitted the gesture was sweet, that it was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him, and yet?]
That requires being firm, and I can be a firm asshole about plenty, but setting boundaries is like the furthest outside my comfort zone.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
[That was the closest he'd been able to express that he actually was upset about it. Though now having gone through it, having thought about how complicated this could get, he feels that's not really enough.]
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Part of me is weighing whether or not being disappointed in the future is better than having this conversation. [Hanna, no.]
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
I- Yes? I mean, I don't think I'd be talking to you about it if I didn't want it to. I'm kind of invested.
Re: After the Cat-box fiasco - Audio
Then you have to be firm. Set boundaries. That's the work you do.