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From:

artistinexile

To fulfill my punishment as set forth by my warden. He advises that I attend all sessions, and that I listen and obey you absolutely.

Edited Date: 2025-02-17 03:12 am (UTC)

From:

heyboss

[He's actually had patients like this, and Sheehan feels something like nostalgia.]

I understand that you see these sessions as part of your punishment, and I’m not here to force you to talk or change your mind about that. My role is to provide a space where we can explore whatever you feel comfortable discussing, if and when you’re ready.

[He leans forward.]

Even if you don’t see the value in these sessions right now, it might be worth considering that understanding yourself better could help you navigate your situation more effectively. It’s not about right or wrong—it’s about gaining clarity.

We don't need to start with anything too personal. We can talk about something you're interested in.

From:

artistinexile

It would be difficult to ascertain the value of something I have yet to experience, Doctor Sheehan.

Regardless, I am not resentful. I have done some immeasurable harm to this ship and its passengers by my warden's estimate, and must pay the price.

From:

heyboss

By your warden's estimate. That's an interesting way to phrase that one.

Do you believe you've done harm?

From:

artistinexile

Show me a person who has not done harm, and I will show you someone who does not exist.

From:

heyboss

Ah, forgive me. Do you believe you have done immeasurable harm?

From:

artistinexile

[silence, as Thrawn debates on how to answer that question]

That depends on how one defines 'immeasurable harm', Doctor Sheehan.

I set a series of alarms to test the ship and its passengers in case of danger. In response, I have been hit, threatened, beaten, placed in Zero, lost important allies, had my projects stripped from me, and now I find myself here explaining my actions yet again. My warden has told me I have broken hearts - his, and Aerith's.

The variety of responses to this compared to, say, a murder, and shattering of a heart would indicate harm beyond measure, no?

Edited Date: 2025-02-18 03:01 am (UTC)

From:

heyboss

It does.

Do you understand how your actions caused them harm?

From:

artistinexile

I understand undiagnosed trauma disorders coupled with unannounced alarms will trigger detrimental responses.

Perhaps in the future, these people can come to you to work through them.

From:

heyboss

[If only, Thrawn. If only.]

Did you understand that before you decided to set the alarms?

From:

artistinexile

I did.

From:

heyboss

Can you tell me what you believed would happen?

[He starts to make columns on the page.

From:

artistinexile

[a pause]

Do you wish for my risk assessment report?

From:

heyboss

No. I want you to tell me how you thought this might go? The most probable path.

From:

artistinexile

I estimated about 50 to 70% of the ship's passengers would take action and attempt to find the source of the alarms and either proceed to the exits as intended, or take steps to eliminate the alarms at their source. The plan was to divide these groups into two: the helpful, and the obstinate and reluctant to change.

A further estimated 10 to 20% of residents would either ignore the alarms entirely and not adhere to evacuation protocols, or be too overwhelmed to do as instructed either through animal reaction, searching for friends, family and allies, or through trauma responses.

A final estimated 5 to 10% would have no context of these alarms due to no evacuation procedure on their home worlds and would need further direction for compliance.

I anticipated confusion, anger, resignation, and acceptance. I knew that I am an unpopular and strange inmate who nonetheless has earned the backing of Wardens Burke and Rawne, and made plans to transfer the alarms and manual to one or both of them so that they could conduct further annual reviews at their leisure, once I had made my departure. There is no possible outcome where the wardens here will agree on a need for an overall alert system, agree as to who will carry it out, and agree to a regular maintenance schedule. It must come from an inmate first, because animosity can be redirected at me for 'not knowing any better' and later upheld as a partially good idea now that it exists, but no one was going to install them first to begin with. Someone must take the leap and the 'heat'.

There was a non-zero chance I would be removed from Maintenance. A non-zero chance I would be tortured or killed. A non-zero chance I would be ignored entirely. These were extremely unlikely responses, but would speak to needing more research done on the fringes of known Barge residents.

From:

heyboss

[Florian was so, so right about his inmate. As it should be. But he does nod again.]

That's a lot of actions that you anticipated.

Did it work out like you planned?

From:

artistinexile

I planned for several of the most likely possibilities. If you are asking which I had hoped would occur, I can tell you that I can work with many of the outcomes, advantageous or no.

From:

heyboss

You can work with, but what did you prefer?

From:

artistinexile

There is no preference over hoped outcomes. Only the one that is. I do not concern myself with “what could have been.”

Edited Date: 2025-02-21 02:22 am (UTC)

From:

heyboss

[Sheehan nods, writing in his notebook.]

Has that always been your habit?

From:

artistinexile

Yes.

[oh, were you hoping for more elaboration? Sorry, Sheehan: Thrawn has decided that this feels remarkably like how he had been studied his entire time in Imperial space. He knows from experience that more questions will follow; best to save his energy instead of attempting to explain himself to those who do not care.

He will follow Florian's instructions and not be purposely obstinate, but nor does he feel the need to elaborate further unless directed.]

From:

heyboss

[Sheehan can sense a reluctant client. But unlike the ones that he had at Ashecliffe, Thrawn is not obligated to be here and participate.

But he does - wonder - ]

Sometimes words don’t feel like the right way to communicate. Would you be open to doing something different, like drawing or writing?

I work in the art gazebo mostly, you know. I spend a lot of time on doodles and simply - expressing myself in that way.

From:

artistinexile

[Thrawn would disagree - he is compelled here by Florian and the threat of not graduating. His eyes narrow at the mention of art. Florian will have mentioned that, of course.

He changes the subject.]

You say you are here to discuss things within my realm of comfort, Dr. Sheehan. I have had conversations at length with Florian that a graduation is intended to be uncomfortable. I believe I phrased it as 'pain will have to be our guide'.

I would like a brief summary of what you intend for these sessions to do and why, as well as what assignments you feel I need to complete.

From:

heyboss

[The mention of art was given by Florian, yes, but Sheehan's comparatively newly acquired interest in art is what he has been basing his entire counseling strategies on with mixed success. Still, he is a sucker for new ideas, new lives, and had been looking forward to actually engaging with Thrawn on that level. But it can wait. His smile is polite.]

Graduation cannot be your goal, Thrawn, or you won't graduate.

Edited Date: 2025-02-24 12:10 am (UTC)