[That sure is a lot all wrapped up in one. But first - ]
Thank you. For keeping me in check. And for trusting me enough to tell me now.
[But then he goes quiet for a moment, thinking to himself.]
I can't imagine what it is to live a life as long as yours and see so many people come and go. People that I care about and love.
All I can say is that I am grateful for the time that you give me now. And I'd like to be your friend for as long as we're able to.
I'm human. I'm not meant to live forever and I kind of don't want to. But I do want to surround myself in people who care about me and who I care about because that's life. That's the best part of life.
After a while, it becomes easier not to care. And more recently...
[She sighed, and rubbed the back of her head.]
I can try, but I am pretty...weird. About being called a friend, or anything like that.
Hell, I got warbly and nearly had a panic attack when I admitted that I love John. I'm not saying not to...try to be a friend Sheehan.
I'm just telling you I'm gonna be a hot mess sometimes, and really shitty and sensitive about the label. And you need to tell Arthur if I'm being an asshole.
I trust him to put me in check if I'm up in my head about it.
Extremely. I broke down crying when John sang to me because I knew it came from love. And I hate crying like that. But, his cabin is my home. We agreed.
[She makes a face at him.]
Yes you are. Because if I'm being an ass to you, I'm going to be worse to someone I don't care about.
Well, if we're being truthful, it was me first. He wanted to give me ways to defend myself since - [He gestures down to himself.] - I am not suited for it.
And I can change into a bear. Which - is actually quite a better deterrent than I anticipated. But that's not his magic.
[He goes quiet a moment.]
I shot him once. During a - flood. Some magical mixups. I hadn't held a real gun since the War and I don't ever want to again. So he helped me ensure that I could defend myself and my friends without having to harm another person.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 12:51 am (UTC)[She shrugs, and leans back in her seat.]
But the fear is...self defense, I suppose. I have a long history. If I don't leave people, they tend to go one of two routes:
They betray me. Or they die. Usually pretty horribly.
I tend not to bring back those who do.
They're never the same after.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 01:15 am (UTC)Thank you. For keeping me in check. And for trusting me enough to tell me now.
[But then he goes quiet for a moment, thinking to himself.]
I can't imagine what it is to live a life as long as yours and see so many people come and go. People that I care about and love.
All I can say is that I am grateful for the time that you give me now. And I'd like to be your friend for as long as we're able to.
I'm human. I'm not meant to live forever and I kind of don't want to. But I do want to surround myself in people who care about me and who I care about because that's life. That's the best part of life.
And I'd like to have you there.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 01:44 am (UTC)After a while, it becomes easier not to care. And more recently...
[She sighed, and rubbed the back of her head.]
I can try, but I am pretty...weird. About being called a friend, or anything like that.
Hell, I got warbly and nearly had a panic attack when I admitted that I love John. I'm not saying not to...try to be a friend Sheehan.
I'm just telling you I'm gonna be a hot mess sometimes, and really shitty and sensitive about the label. And you need to tell Arthur if I'm being an asshole.
I trust him to put me in check if I'm up in my head about it.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 01:46 am (UTC)[The request does make him smile.]
Sokie...I'm not going to tattle on you to my husband.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:18 am (UTC)[She makes a face at him.]
Yes you are. Because if I'm being an ass to you, I'm going to be worse to someone I don't care about.
I'm serious Lester.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:20 am (UTC)Alright. You respected my ask. I can do the same for you. It's a deal.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:36 am (UTC)Thank you Lester. I know it feels like tattling, but it could be dangerous.
And it helps that I don't like Arthur being hurt.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:38 am (UTC)So what can I do to help you now?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:39 am (UTC)No idea Sheehan.
Other than...being you?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:41 am (UTC)Tell me how you're feeling now. You were so upset the last time we talked...
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:45 am (UTC)Ah, well...that's...kind of mixed? Like, I'm not spiraling anymore, so that's great. I feel...stable.
Just that under level of feeling sorry for myself, which isn't...great.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:47 am (UTC)The feeling sorry for yourself isn't fun, but that emotion won't kill you. It won't hurt you.
I'm relieved you're feeling stable, though. Really. It must have been exhausting to carry all of that all at once.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:52 am (UTC)But admittedly, the day I came back home, I slept the best I had in days.
I tend not to sleep when I'm stressed, so. That might have been part of it.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 02:54 am (UTC)[He is quite pleased to hear that, though.]
And I'm so relieved that you moved back in where you feel safe.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:04 am (UTC)[Her voice was very fond. He missed her, and she missed him just as much.]
We agreed that we'll live together from now on. My cabin will mostly be for storage.
We're hoping the Admiral will approve of an art studio slash workshop in our living space.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:07 am (UTC)[He puts a hand on his heart.]
And I'm not just saying that because of where I work.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:09 am (UTC)John doesn't do well alone, and I feel safe and happy. As does he.
Also, this means your meal planning may, or may not, become less chaotic.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:26 am (UTC)[He is worried about John feeling alone. He might need to bring it up to him because he's now a little worried that he caused that.]
Anything else you'd like to get off your chest, or can we keep going back so I can get into the pants with the elastic?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:36 am (UTC)[She had no idea. She hadn't seen it yet.]
But I'm good. Let's get you into some nice comfy pants while I get back to making your box.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:39 am (UTC)[He stands up and reaches down a hand for her.]
And John's art just gives me a headache sometimes. But he's good about warning people first.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 04:11 am (UTC)We're planning to test and see what it does to me.
But ah...have you been...blessed by John? It might change things.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:08 pm (UTC)He's taught me spells. Well -
[Taught isn't actually the right word.]
He gives me spells and I just know them.
[Sheehan is as mundane as they come; he doesn't know how to describe it.]
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:17 pm (UTC)[Her sigh was gently exasperated.]
Blessings is better than calling you a warlock- and if that's how he teaches you, that's what you are.
It's not a bad thing. But it may be why his paintings don't effect you much.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:24 pm (UTC)And I can change into a bear. Which - is actually quite a better deterrent than I anticipated. But that's not his magic.
[He goes quiet a moment.]
I shot him once. During a - flood. Some magical mixups. I hadn't held a real gun since the War and I don't ever want to again. So he helped me ensure that I could defend myself and my friends without having to harm another person.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 03:44 pm (UTC)[She smiles briefly, before reaching out. If Lester allows it, she'll take both hands.]
I understand. I am not that person anymore, who can be gentle in a fight, but I do understand Lester.
But- if you want other spells, especially healing or any of that- restraints or even some hand to hand tips?
Let me know.
I'll teach you.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: